[You flip the page of the nonexistent journal. The next set of entries appears to correspond with the journey into the wild and the battle with the fallen god. A nonexistent picture falls out of the journal at this point, and you realize it to be an image of a younger case (check out the picture on my character page). You tuck the picture back in and read the entries.]
finally showered, shaved. long night’s finally over, sailin out of the city, can finally chill out. thing is, when everything slows down and is quiet, it’s not like i got the best memories to dwell on. thats what the fuckin beta is for, just gotta be careful i dont take a tumble off the goddamn ship. never had a fear a heights, spent enough time on rooftops to be cool with that. but havin nothin underneath is kinda gettin me riled. bunkin with mal, kinda wanna see how all the tech that hes got in him would handle the beta. maybe hell wanna try some. best case scenario he gets hooked and trades me some of his shit for it. he doesnt seem so keen on buildin shit for me otherwise. wonder if he dies, will his suit will be worth somethin or will it just turn to scrap metal? damn waste if it does. dont want mal to die or anythin though, nice enough guy.
woke up this morning, usual after-effects, but terrible fuckin ache in my balls. memories came back pretty quickly, fine night cept a girl.. craehee.. well she came after me, hit me, tried to hit me again.. there were words but i forget them.. and the beta does what the beta does, i didnt make no move on her but i wasnt wearin much and theres a fuckin reason im avoiding the girls when im gettin high. guess my dick got what it deserves, maybe itll think twice next time before gettin optimistic like that. fucking disgust myself. gonna act like i dont remember a goddamn thing.
skyship was fuckin gettin to me, good to be off. wilds are shitty as hell but at least im not just sittin around. never realized how much i could hate insects. cold, wet and miserable but feels good to be moving and the air is weird, kinda good in a way, nothin like the city. cant imagine living in a place like this. but i guess kokoro has? should ask her. sleeping would be easy cause of the exhaustion from a days hike, but any sort of comfort is impossible. still, so tired that my eyes stay closed for decent periods of time. better than the skyship. maybe even better than before. even had a dream the other night. a nothing sort of dream, was buying new boots with linda. none fit.
terrors a pretty amazing drug. adrenalines better than that. terror, adrenaline and beta all at once are rapture. felt it before, in the city, but for sure, fighting in the streets lacked the brutal savagery of this place. will explain: saw a deer runnin, scared shitless, froth and crazy eyes. never seen anything like it. after that a pack of wolves, also runnin scared, reminded me of the gutter dogs back in the city, cept like everything here, more savage, more real. surprised we didnt run either. we pushed on to the charcoal town. empty. still the scent of fear about, i think, though that was probably the beta. but yeah, everyone had up and left. damn recently too. dug in on rooftop with the 15mm, laid out mags, got fuckin pumped. wilds did not disappoint. out of the trees comes something indescribable. thought i had seen some ugly shit in the streets. nothin ever like this. was as if someone had collected every dead and decaying body in a halliwellian sewer and made some wolf-like shape out of it. kokoro called it a fallen god. i rode the beta and dumped a mag into it. thing didnt die til the last fuckin round. all in the head. fuckin unbelievable. heh. what else you got, wilds?